You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.

82,130 notes


for halloween can i be your girlfriend

352,507 notes

Noted this is not a show-off, I am doing this huge giveaway to you wonderful tumblr hockey fans!

  • 9-pocket hockey cards, all from upper deck, 20+ sets
  • Classic panini cards in plastic card holder (You can name whoever you want, I will put him in the card holder and send to you)
  • Mini masks from every single team except hawks (sorry guys, when I got these beauties, I just realized they made two ducks and forgot hawks :’(
  • Mini flags from every single team
  • Key chains from the teams of which I am fond
  • Inflatable hockey sticks :)
  • clippers/money holders from five teams: Leafs, Avs, Rangers, Sharks and Bolts
  • and finally as you all noticed, I will be giving out Kaner’s away white jersey.

You can only ask for two or less items from this pile, and you probably need to follow me :’)

Feel free to reblog this post, I will approach the winners at the beginning of October.

(Source: dallas41chicago88)

903 notes


No sugardaddies. No sugar mamas. No sugarbabies. Full socialism in romantic relationships. There are only sugarcomrades.

27,626 notes


i wish people had crushes on me 

(Source: 13hr)

720,078 notes




if you spell skeletons backwards it still spells skeletons

Man I can’t wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks

51,376 notes


do you ever get that horrible feeling in your stomach because you can’t imagine anyone ever falling in love with you and wanting to spend the rest of their life with you

201,469 notes


do you ever realise just how lonely you actually are 

324,096 notes


"enjoy high school, you’re going to miss it when it’s over" nah tho

19,769 notes


i wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

618,735 notes


[bottles up feelings and lets them age for 10 years like a fine wine]

55,217 notes


reasons I can relate to a possum:

-tired & unkempt, smells weird
-emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream”
-no work ethic
-lies around looking dead when overwhelmed
-will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices
-sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich

33,859 notes


*has feelings for someone*


57,966 notes


a guide to getting attached to minor characters!:

  • don’t

(Source: shimizukiyoko)

10,132 notes


I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to people.

22,851 notes