Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.

79,214 notes


a fun and interesting fact about me is that im a fucking idiot

88,375 notes


*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

51,362 notes




what if people’s hair changed color based on their emotions

like one day you’re out getting a cup of coffee and you notice some cutie in the back of the coffeeshop and your hair starts turning bright pink and you do you best to try to hide it but you can’t help but look over and

they’re just sitting there, staring at you, their face as flushed as their locks

What about bald people


4,766 notes


Life hack: conquer your fear of the dark by becoming the thing other people fear in the dark.

58,046 notes


I just want good eyebrows and maybe a new face

56,597 notes


I wish I could illegally download clothes

(Source: exactable)

246,853 notes


will you still love me when i no longer ball so fuckin hard

86,981 notes


i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

32,070 notes


the worst part of summer is when the back to school commercials come on

29,936 notes


Do u ever see a girl and ur like oh my god I love life

(Source: bbadsuns)

87,333 notes



you know my name not my

Overwhelming desire to become a pigeon. Words cannot express my dire need to have beautiful grey feathers and glorious wings so that I may fly and feast upon dropped hotdogs and breadcrumbs.

76,889 notes


stop being too cool to enjoy things

19,884 notes


i just want a hug, chocolate and you

9,946 notes


If you ever feel like you’ve screwed up, just remember that in 1348 the Scots thought it would be a good idea to invade England because the English were weakened by the Plague. They subsequently caught the plague themselves, went back to Scotland, and killed half their own population.

46,352 notes